A broken chain…

When I was a child, I really love books and magazines. At that time, there was a famous magazine namely Mentari; it means ‘sun’ in Bahasa Indonesia. I really obsessed with this magazine, almost every day I said to my mom that I wanted to subscribe to this magazine. But, my mom said no.

One day, there is a lady came to our house. She offered a subscription to Mentari to our family! I jumped and sooo happy! But, my dad and mom said no to that lady. I still remember how sad I was, at that time. I cried silently, pretending to sleep on a couch.

I heard my mom and dad debating over this in our kitchen. My dad said that he could manage his salary to subscribe to Mentari fortnightly. My mom said no, she didn’t believe that my dad can do that. So, they left me crying alone without any explanation.

Several weeks later, my dad asked me to join him in Tugu Pahlawan. Every Sunday morning, there is a market that is selling pre-loved products. He walked and walked until he found what he looked for. I was so tired that morning; he is very persistent.

“Vin! come here! look what I found”
(approaching my dad)
“This is what you want” (he showed me a very thick Mentari magazine)

So, there were around 10 out-of-date Mentari magazines bound into one giant book. It was sold very cheaply compared to the new ones.

(I shook my head)
“why? because it is not a new one?”
“no, because I have lost my interest to Mentari already”
“It doesn’t matter whether it is new or used one, the story still the same, the pictures are both same”
“but there are some pages missing, dad”
“let’s choose a better one then”

After a few minutes of selecting the minimum torn pages, I went home with a giant book consist of 10 used Mentari magazines.

I never know how painful it is to become parents at that time. All I know is just, I love reading the magazine, and I want that desire is fulfilled.

I never know that by subscribing to a new Mentari magazine can lead to unstable financial to my family at that time. I don’t know their financial condition. I just know that every day my dad took a train to Surabaya and come home at night.

I still feel the pain of unfulfilled desire, even until now. It leaves me a ‘scar’; well, I have so many scars anyway. I was expecting an explanation at that time. It may be okay for me now if they told me their financial condition at that time. I learn something from this matter which I use to teach Rania.

Give your child all explanations of any matter that are reasonable. If you say no, give them the reason. If you say yes, give them the reason too. Now, I realized why Rania always asks me ‘why’ to every single subject that she wants to know more. She demands an explanation from me, whatever it is, just tell it. She is a human being who thinks rationally and emotionally capable of sensing other human beings. She’ll understand, now or later.

Rania and I were raised in different family cultures and eras. In my era, when I was a child, it was forbidden to ask our parents ‘why’. Just do everything they said to you without asking. Asking means you don’t believe in your parents. Asking means you argue with your parents. But, nowadays, asking means that you are thinking reasonably. Asking means you’re craving for more knowledge.

I used to compare children nowadays and in my era. But, not anymore until my sister in law told me that we can’t compare things that are different. I haven’t married and have any children at that time, don’t really know what she meant for exactly. But, I think it is relevant now.

This post is entitled ‘a broken chain’; it means that I do something different to my child compared to my parents do to me when I was a child. It doesn’t mean that I am better than them, or they are better than me. It means we took a different path because the era demands us to become a different generation from time to time. We can still adopt a good thing from our parents’ era but please deliver it differently to our children.

We learn every day to become parents and human being but the world is continuously changing.

I don’t know why I can’t stop writing these days. I want everything in my head is written in something that can be read anytime by anyone. Ha, weird me..

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