A walk to remember..

Ramisa, my Iranian friend who introduced me to the gym, has her wedding anniversary today! Happy Crystal Anniversary for your marriage 🙂 I wish you a wonderful journey ahead with your husband 🙂

Then, I suddenly remember about mine 😁

My marriage is 6 years now and counting. I am not sure if ours is the perfect marriage or not, but, he is the one who stands by me for better and worse.

He might not a sweet and romantic husband, he can’t play guitar or sing properly, but, he respects himself by treating other people around him very well. He owns me by putting so much trust that I am capable of doing many things by myself. We trust each other even both of us are not wearing our wedding ring. Weird? Yes. That is our style. We do what we want.

My husband is a very clean man, he always pulls on and off his ring while bathing, and he can take a shower 4 times a day! 🤣 He never says that wearing a wedding ring is a burden for him. But, I suggest him to put the ring in our jewelry box, so it won’t be lost.

How about me? Why am I not wearing a wedding ring? Ooh this question is so bugging me, really. Why people do care so much about whether I am married or not, through a ring? 💍

I got this kind of questions during invigilating exams from other invigilators.

The answer is, my finger is swollen when I use a ring for more than a night. So, I can’t cook or type on my computer’s keyboard properly. Furthermore, I can’t take that off of my finger because the swolen is blocking the way. What a ‘great’ situation it is? So, I put off my ring before it is getting worse.

Now, people are bugging me with that question, along with intense look to make sure whether I hide my marriage or not 😒 very nice! should I put my marriage certificate on my forehead? 🤣

I mentioned that he stands by me for better and for worse, so I would like to share the worse thing,

On a sunny day, when I was 7 months pregnant with Rania, my legs were suddenly disabled. A joint between symphysis and pubic bones for my right leg was not operating properly (i.e. symphysis pubis dysfunction), thus, it made me unable to walk at all. An abnormality in hormone relaxyn was triggered because of the pregnancy. So, I laid on a bed for the whole day and night, until Rania’s delivery date. Every time I tried to move I heard a cracking bone of my pelvis, just don’t ask me how it feels…..

Well, at 8th-month pregnancy, I was still able to do my PhD interview via skype with a professor who is my supervisor right now.

I believe that he had some options at that time: asking my parents or his parents to take care of me, or asking a professional nurse to help me.

But no, he took care of me by himself. For two months, I had to wait for my husband coming from office at his lunch-break only to help me to pee in a toilet, then he went back to his office. I completely depended on him at that time.

I guess his actions speak louder than his mouth; he is a man to me.

Soon after Rania born, we moved to Dublin and he took unpaid leave from his works for accompanying me and Rania here. 3 years passed by, now this is the time for him to think about research for his PhD and his career. Me? I can stand on my own. I am grateful for being surrounded by positive people and supportive colleagues to finish this and go home for good as soon as possible 😁

I owe him my whole life and death. Not because he did all of these sacrifices for me, but because we already committed to being there for each other.

He never interrogates me, but I tell him whom I met, spoke to, and laughed with, on daily basis, even after peeing or pooping in toilet I tell him. That’s not only because I am his wife or owing my life to him, but also because I put so much respect on him.

He is the one that makes me smile after crying missing Rania with his silly jokes through whatsapp chats! 😂

Wait.. our sixth anniversary is still in November, why am I writing this post by the way? Ahhh, yes.. Ramisa’s wedding anniversary inspired me to post this 😅

Happy Anniversary Ramisa 🌷

We surely fix each other’s crown..


And those were the days of roses
Poetry and prose and Martha
All I had was you and all you had was me
There was no tomorrows

We’d packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day
And I remember quiet evenings
Trembling close to you


I love the part above.

”Look a couple in front of us!”
”Which one? I can’t see it”
”The one that is exactly in front of us, two elderlies are holding hands”
”I thought you mean by couple is the young one 😂”
”I will hold your hand until we are getting old together later”
”Now we are old already, so just hold my hand then”
”Rania is staring at us” 😅

One thought on “A walk to remember..

  1. Dear Retno,
    You are one of my best friends during PhD life. The story really impressed me. Thanks.
    I think meaning of marriage is deeper than just carrying a ring. You and your husband don’t need any ring to show that how happy couple are you. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s